Fellatio

Fellatio is oral sex performed on a penis — using the mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate it. You'll more commonly hear it called a "blow job" or "giving head." It's a common type of sexual activity, and like all sex, it should only happen when both people want it to.

• Fellatio is oral sex on a penis.
• STIs can be passed on through fellatio, including gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, and HPV.
• Using a condom during oral sex reduces the risk of STI transmission.
• Nobody is ever obligated to give or receive oral sex — it's always a choice.
• It counts as sexual activity under the law, meaning the age of consent (16 in the UK) applies.

What it involves

Fellatio involves using the mouth — lips, tongue, and sometimes gentle suction — on the penis, usually focusing on the head (glans) and shaft, which are the most sensitive areas. What feels good varies a lot from person to person. There's no "right" technique, and communication matters more than anything you'd see in porn.

The pressure around it

Fellatio gets talked about a lot among young people, and there can be real pressure — especially on girls and young women — to do it. You might hear people talk about it like it's expected or no big deal. But it is a sexual act, and nobody owes it to anyone. If someone pressures you into giving oral sex, that's not okay. Equally, if you don't enjoy receiving it, that's fine too.

The idea that blow jobs are "less than" sex or "don't really count" is misleading. It's sexual activity. It carries STI risk. It requires consent. It counts.

STI risk

STIs can be transmitted during fellatio. The person giving has a higher risk of catching something than the person receiving, though both can be affected. Infections that can be passed on include gonorrhoea (throat gonorrhoea is a thing), herpes, syphilis, and HPV. HIV transmission through oral sex is possible but much less likely than through vaginal or anal sex.

Using a condom during fellatio significantly reduces the risk. Flavoured condoms exist specifically for this purpose. In practice, many people don't use condoms for oral sex, but it's worth knowing the option is there — especially with new or casual partners.

If semen gets in someone's mouth, they can choose to spit or swallow — neither carries significant risk beyond what's already present from the oral contact itself. The STI risk comes from the contact between mouth and genitals, not from swallowing.

Things people get wrong

"Everyone does it." Not everyone does, and not everyone wants to. The idea that it's a standard or expected part of hookups puts unfair pressure on people.

"It's not real sex." It is. It involves sexual contact, it carries STI risk, and legally it's a sexual act — meaning consent and the age of consent both apply.

"You can't say no if you've started." You can stop at any point. Consent is ongoing.

Things people ask about fellatio

Can you get an STI from giving a blow job?

Yes. Gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, and HPV can all be transmitted through oral sex on a penis. Using a condom reduces the risk. If you're sexually active, regular STI testing is a good idea.

What if I don't want to do it?

Then don't. You never owe anyone oral sex — not in a relationship, not after a date, not ever. If someone makes you feel like you have to, that's a problem with them, not you.

Is it normal to not enjoy it?

Yes. Some people enjoy giving or receiving oral sex, some don't. Both positions are completely valid. Sex should involve things both people are genuinely into.

What about gagging?

Gagging is a natural reflex and doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Going at your own pace, not taking more than you're comfortable with, and communicating with the other person all help. Anyone who pushes past what you're comfortable with is not respecting your boundaries.

Fellatio is the formal word for oral sex on a penis. Most people call it a blow job or giving head. It means using the mouth, lips, and tongue on someone's penis.

It's a type of sexual activity. That means the law about being 16 applies, and both people need to agree to it. Nobody owes it to anyone, ever. If someone pressures you into it, that's not okay.

There can be a lot of pressure around this, especially on girls. You might hear people talk about it like it's expected or no big deal. But it is a sexual act, and it's always your choice.

Infections that are passed on through sex can also be passed on through oral sex. Using a condom helps lower that risk. Flavoured condoms are made for this. In practice a lot of people don't use them, but it's good to know the option exists.

Some people enjoy giving or receiving oral sex. Some don't. Both are completely fine. Sex should only involve things that everyone is genuinely happy doing.