Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on someone with a vulva — using the mouth, lips, and tongue on the vulva and clitoris. You might hear it called "going down on someone" or "eating out." It's a common and normal type of sexual activity.

• Cunnilingus is oral sex on the vulva and clitoris.
• It's one of the most reliable ways for people with a vulva to orgasm, since it directly stimulates the clitoris.
• STIs can be passed on through cunnilingus, though the risk is lower than with penetrative sex.
• A dental dam (a thin sheet of latex) can be used to reduce STI risk.
• Like all sexual activity, it requires consent from everyone involved.

Why it matters

Cunnilingus is relevant because it's one of the main ways people with a vulva experience sexual pleasure. Since most people with a vulva orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than penetration, oral sex is often more likely to lead to orgasm than vaginal sex. This is worth knowing because porn and popular culture tend to centre penetration as the "main event," which gives a skewed picture of how pleasure actually works for a lot of people.

The stigma

There's an unfair double standard around oral sex. Oral sex on a penis (a blow job) is often treated as expected or normal in sexual situations, while cunnilingus is sometimes treated as optional, gross, or as something to joke about. This stigma can make people with a vulva feel embarrassed about receiving it, or reluctant to ask for it.

The reality is that vulvas are normal body parts and cunnilingus is a normal sexual activity. If someone makes you feel gross for wanting or enjoying it, that says more about them than about you.

STI risk

STIs can be transmitted during cunnilingus, including herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and HPV. The risk is generally lower than with penetrative sex, but it's not zero. Using a dental dam — a thin square of latex placed over the vulva — reduces the risk. You can buy dental dams, or you can make one by cutting a condom open. In practice, not many people use them, but it's good to know they exist.

If either person has a cut or sore in their mouth or on their genitals, the risk of transmission is higher.

Things people get wrong

"It's unhygienic." A clean vulva is not unhygienic. Vulvas have a natural smell and taste that varies from person to person — that's normal, not a problem. Strong or unusual odours can sometimes indicate an infection, but otherwise, normal washing is all that's needed.

"Only women receive cunnilingus." Anyone with a vulva can receive it — that includes some trans men and non-binary people. And people of any gender can perform it.

"It doesn't count as real sex." If it involves sexual contact between people, it's sex. There's no hierarchy where only penetration "counts."

Things people ask about cunnilingus

Is it normal to want/not want this?

Completely normal either way. Some people love it, some aren't into it, some feel self-conscious about it. All of those responses are fine. Nobody is obligated to give or receive it.

What if I'm worried about how I smell or taste?

Normal vulvas have a natural scent that varies with the menstrual cycle, diet, and other factors. It's usually totally fine. If you're concerned, a wash with plain water before is all you need. Don't use scented products inside the vagina — those can cause infections and make things worse.

Can I get an STI from it?

Yes, though the risk is lower than with penetrative sex. Herpes, gonorrhoea, and HPV can all be passed on this way. Dental dams reduce the risk, and regular STI testing is a good idea if you're sexually active.

What about during a period?

Some people are comfortable with it during a period, some aren't — on both the giving and receiving end. It's a personal preference, and it's fine either way. There's no health risk from menstrual blood.

Cunnilingus is a type of oral sex. It means using the mouth and tongue on a girl's or woman's private parts between their legs, especially the sensitive spot near the front called the clitoris. People sometimes call it "going down on someone" or "eating out."

It's a normal and common type of sexual activity. It's also one of the main ways girls and women feel pleasure during sex, because it directly touches the most sensitive part of their body.

There's sometimes an unfair attitude where oral sex on a boy or man is treated as expected, but oral sex on a girl or woman is treated as gross or optional. That's a double standard. Bodies are bodies, and this is a normal thing that many people enjoy.

Infections that are passed on through sex can be spread this way, though the risk is lower than with other types of sex. A thin sheet of material called a dental dam can be placed over the area to lower the risk.

Like all sexual activity, both people need to be happy with what's happening. Nobody has to give or receive this if they don't want to.